If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize