Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
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