I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize