Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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