yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize