Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
bring money and cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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