OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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