Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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