We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
