the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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