Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize