Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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