you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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