Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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