new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Randomize