Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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