Just cropdusted the office
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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