My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize