I need help removing her.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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