I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
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