I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize