i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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