Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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