Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
