Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize