This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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