I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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