the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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