I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
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at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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