i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize