I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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