My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
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