I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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