Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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