No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Randomize