Is it because I queefed?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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