Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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