it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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