theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize