Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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