i just wanna soil my oats bro
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
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i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
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Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
how drunk are you?
Several
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize