Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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