I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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