I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize