only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize