as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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