I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize