My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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