I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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