i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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