my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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